Red Wine Hangover

We all know a red wine hangover is one of the worst you can have....

1. I ended up having a little bit of 'grape juice' last night. I am working at home today, so I knew that I didn't have to get up at the crack of dawn.

2. And you have to have red wine with lasagna. I made a recipe that I adapted from the Barefoot Contessa for turkey lasagna. She uses turkey sausage, I just used ground turkey. I also added sundried tomatoes to the sauce, and used a little more goat cheese than the recipe called for.

3. Goat cheese in lasagna, you say? Well, that's what I said, but I had some leftover in the fridge, so I said, why not? I mean, if Ina uses it...

4. The goat cheese made the ricotta layer very creamy and tangy, somewhat like the texture of a bechemel sauce. Yummy. Trust me.

5. The only thing I would do differently next time (and there WILL be a next time) is to use some more seasoning in the sauce. I think turkey sausage is kind of spicy, so since I use ground turkey I need to make up for that. You can find the recipe on the Food Network website. That's where I got it.

6. Sausage kind of skeeves me. I think it is the concept of all of those unidentifiable parts being all squished together and squirted out of some sort of hose. No thanks.

7. So, here is my horoscope for today:

Upsetting news with regard to your job could come your way today, L1. There could be a shakeup in the corporate hierarchy, or perhaps a person in a position of authority could abruptly leave the company. You and your coworkers could experience some momentary fears with regard to job security; however, these fears are probably unwarranted. Your security will survive these events, and you'll probably be even better off than you were before.

8. And right while I was linking that, one of the partners at my firm called me. And Sophie barked through the entire phone call. *** whatever ***

9. I'm not scared about my job security. Let's just put it that way.

10. Sophie sits upstairs in my little office with me while I work. Sometimes she lays at my feet and rests her little beard on my left foot. But most of the time she sits and looks out of the window.

11. I pushed an ottoman over to the window so that she can look out and bark as the situation allows. One of the neighbors said she looked like a furry little Anne Frank up there.

12. But Anne Frank knew how to keep her mouth shut. And I'm pretty sure she didn't have a Schnauzer.

13. If Anne Frank had a schnauzer, that diary would have only been about 12 pages long.

14. I visited the Anne Frank Haus in Amsterdam and recommend it highly. I did not visit the Haus, however, when I visited Amsterdam with LP. She wasn't interested in any cultural pursuits other than the coffeeshops.

15. In the picture above, Sophie is sniffing the breeze through an open window. But that photo was taken last week.

16. It is hot as hell here in the A.T.L. today. No open windows here. The highs will be in the mid-90's and it's humid, too.

17. OK. So I've been experimenting with my new camera. learning to make movies. I also established a YouTube account so I can potentially post them here. Please excuse the shaky camera work--the Nikon Coolpix is very tiny and light and I am going to have some problems controlling it while moving.

18. And now, I present for you, Sophie Takes Me for a Walk.

The Famous Artie Lange Cupcake

Now, everybody knows I love food. Good food, of course, whenever possible.

Last year, Artie Lange and Gary Dell A'bate announced that Crumbs Bakery in NYC intended to have a sit down with Artie and help him design a cupcake above all cupcakes. Sales of this tasty pastry would benefit Lifebeat, an AIDS charity for children that Gary is involved with. (Gary's older brother died of AIDS years ago.)

Artie based his design on the old standby, the Black and White Cookie. Now, I never even heard of one of those Cookies until I lived in New York. Well, maybe I did hear about it once on that old Seinfeld episode where Jerry and Elaine found a hair in their chocolate babka, and spent the day sitting on the floor of a bakery, waiting in line.

To this day, I have never heard of a babka anywhere else, nor have I had the urge to eat one. You know, with the hair and all. But I digress....

I have often salivated listening to Artie noisily lay waste to his own creation on Cupcake Wednesday, that special day when Crumbs delivers several dozen cupcakes and other tasty treats to the Sirius Studio during Howard's show. I even perused the Crumbs website several times, feeling guilty and naughty, like I was doing something wrong. And I probably was, since I was at work and bill my time by the hour.

But the day Artie quit, I felt confused and abandoned. I sat in my car, unable to turn off my Stiletto and go in the office and do the walk of shame, extremely late, down the long halls to my office. I knew just what to do. I dragged my ass in that office, booted up my laptop, went to the Crumbs website, and started clicking.

Now, $3.75 per cupcake doesn't sound like that much to me. After all, it's a whopper, and that price is extremely reasonable for a dessert in NYC. But I don't live in New York anymore, and thus required shipping those swollen goodies down to the A.T.L. Shipping and 'handling' jacked up the price of those cupcakes to over $8.00 apiece!! That's right! Over double the cost of the cupcake!!!

Well, I nearly abandoned my shopping cart. But then I realized, if Artie is really and truly gone from the Howard Stern Show, this may be my last chance to experience this delectible treat.

"Self, don't be a cheapskate, this is for a good charity."

But, of course, the week before Lifebeat returned a check for $10,000 to Crumbs, because Artie had gone on an obscenity-laden tirade against High Pitched Mike, calling him a fag and saying that he hoped he died of AIDS.

All in good fun, of course. No one's pefect. But it is understandable that Lifebeat didn't want any donations related to Artie.

But I digress again.

I clicked. I ordered. And then I waited.

Crumbs tells you exactly when to expect your cupcakes. They tell you when they will bake them, and they tell you when said cakes will arrive on your doorstep. And they were right.

Words cannot express how good these babies are. They just can't. The Artie Lange Cupcake is something to be savored with a knife and fork, preferably with a strong cup of dark roast. And if you have any herb to smoke beforehand, well, you just might explode with happiness when you eat it.

Every part of it is good. There is a marshmallow-type vanilla cream just under the chocolate topping. And a lucsious chocolate creamy center, surrounded by a vividly-vanilla envelope of cake.

I had to put 4 of them in the freezer, nestled carefully in two ziploc bags, for safekeeping. I took what was left to the beach last week, where I shared them with LP and DW.

And a good time was had by all........

PS: I borrowed this picture from another website. I really don't know if I could be this up close and personal with this cupcake in order to take the picture safely.

PSS: And for those who don't know, Artie did indeed return to the Stern Show. All 300 pounds of him.

Whoops

I really didn't mean to post, just look.

And what a cute little slice of pie that is, my little logo. I just love it. It fits, totally.

Life is so different now. Night and day. And that's good, and bad. I will probably expound on that topic in the near future.

Right now my fingers are flying, aided by the big ass glass of Sauvignon Blanc that I have enjoyed in the last hour or so. Cold. Crisp. Perfect for this steamy Georgia night.

I do love this whole concept. The whole blogging thing. I can't even believe that some people think of MySpace and other such crap as blogs. No way. No how.

I am so not into that.

I made a really great dinner tonight. And now I'm just relaxin'.

Sand Through the Hourglass

and here I am again. Not apologizing. Just back.

1. I am on holiday this week, and hit the road last Tuesday afternoon with LP and Sophie, heading for Myrtle Beach.

2. Yes, the condo she owns with her brother, across the street from the sea. A treat, indeed.

3. LP and Sydney came down on Wednesday. And the party rolled on.....

4. It is Black Bike Week right now, so the family reservations are somewhat scarce, it seems. It was pretty deserted around here this week, but when we woke up this morning there were a lot of cars in the parking lot. The bikes aren't allowed inside the gates of the resort, but trust me when I say there is going to be a party going on all night tonight.

5. All of the biker brothers and sisters in the high rises seem to love to scream. And squeal. And I don't think they realize how voices carry. You can hear some good stuff just walking across the street.

6. And someone always throws a slice of pizza off their balcony in the grass.

7. Lots and lots of police presence down here right now. And the three (and two furry halves) of us don't really look like they would be a Big Problem.

8. Ha ha ha. We've been kind of quiet, actually. Today was kind of stormy. In late afternoon, the sun broke through, so we took beach chairs down on the sand and sat for about an hour in the wind and sun.

9. Oh, and I forgot. We woke up Wednesday morning at 7:15 sharp, after being up until 3:00 a.m. watching the storm, to find that 15 - 20 mexicans were on top of the roof, replacing it!! Bonus!!! And the pounding, stomping and shower of debris continued through Friday!!!

10. Thank God LP the Plant Manager had a strategic plan for our party.

Maybe more later.

Shattering the Myth #1

1. From time-to-time, as I see fit, we will be exploring the myth about gender aging.


2. You know, sometimes certain myths are so engrained in our culture, we start to forget they are myths and accept them as fact.


3. The Myth in Question: Men get more attractive as they get older, and women just get old.


4. Based on a picture that caught my eye yesterday, there are certainly some high-profile exceptions to this Myth.


5. And when I say "caught my eye", I mean, "caused me to stare and blink while shuddering and struggling to hold down my lunch".


6. Who: Bill Effing Clinton.


7. Hey Bill: What happened?


8. I know you had that pesky heart surgery, and you still share space occasionally with that shrew known as Hillary, but c'mon!


9. You slimmed down, making permanent changes in your diet. You exercise in accordance with doctor's orders.


10. But you forgot the moisturizer. And Good God, get thee some Botox for your forehead!


11. No one wants Hillary to be in the White House without some sort of parental supervision. Based on this photo, I'm not sure you have four years in you.


12. Get well Bill. And eat some heart-healthy fats, like avocados or olive oil. Maybe that's the problem--you're drying up from the inside.


13. In another life, the Secret Service contacted me when I lived on Long Island in advance of one of President Bill's visits to my little area.


14. Well, they contacted someone at my Big Company, and that call was forwarded to me. But I did return the call and follow-up. They wanted to walk around with someone from my team and preview the areas that would be graced with Bill's presence over the next few days.


15. And everyone lived happily ever after. Ha ha.


16. Anyway, let's cleanse our visual palettes by gazing at a man who is aging gracefully. A man who is still hot as hell.

17. Yeah, that's right. John Let's-Eff-Him Stamos.

18. I didn't watch Full House, and I don't watch ER, but that doesn't mean I don't likey.

19. Because me likey, that's for sure.

20. And you can't imagine the pressure I am under at work right now. It is immense and immediate.

21. Maybe that's what happened to Bill. I'm just sayin'.........

And Again, Because I Feel Like It

1. I ended up having to update my damned Blogger template.

2. It wasn't too bad. The new template looks pretty much the same, but it will be easier to make changes and add things in the future.


Page NixNixNix

3. One of the first changes I made was to remove the link to Perez Hilton's site.

4. I'm tired of that loud-mouthed fatass.

5. When he had Page SixSixSix, he was fresh and jolting and he kind of defined the web gossip era.

6. But now, please. All you have to do is catch three-to-five minutes of his teevee show to feel totally nauseated and hate yourself for wasting three-to-five minutes of your life.

7. Truly vapid. Obviously shallow. Total sell out.

8. And he's so mean to everyone. Don't get me wrong, I'm kind of mean, too. But he dishes out such nastiness about the way other people look, it makes you wonder if he ever looks in a mirror.

9. Maybe all of his mirrors shattered a long time ago. That's the only way to explain it.

10. The brightly-colored hair is meant to distract us from the rest of the package.

11. He really, really needs a makeover.

12. Like, lose at least 50 pounds and get chiseled. Have some decent suits made that fit and flatter like a glove and wear them with some sort of signature-themed tie.

13. And then he can be as withering as he likes. Sarcastic and salacious.

14. Maybe he would even get a red carpet job. He couldn't be worse than Joey Fatone, could he?

And Of Course the Sirens

15. We had quite a little guster today. It started later than it was supposed to, and is still kind of raging now.

16. The storm sirens even went off for about 20 minutes.

17. What exactly does that mean? I thought it meant to go inside and stay there because there is a tornado warning.

18. One of my neighbors told me later that he and his wife and two dogs went into the walk-in closet until the sound stopped.

19. What the hell? Is that the deal? That you are about to die and should take cover?

20. If so, why don't I know that? What kind of dumbass am I?

21. A dumbass from Florida, apparently. I don't think we had sirens there.

Does My Template Suck?

Apparently, the new 'blogger' thinks so. They say I can upgrade my 'boring' template but I might lose some changes I've already made to it.

What the hell does that mean?

I don't know if I have the patience for all that. If I ruined my template, I might have to take another year off to recuperate or something.

So, same old boring look. Which I am still happy with, by the way.

1. We are about to have a big fat storm here in the ATL. The sky is gray and heavy. This is my one day off--Sunday--and I guess I don't really mind if the weather is nasty.

2. I already walked Sophie twice, and I firmly believe that her little system is empty right now.

3. If Sophie could type, she might say that she walked me.

4. Whatever.

5. The ex-professional athlete neighbor is moving this weekend. There is all sorts of banging and clanking while Atlas loads up the truck. This is the second day in a row of this. The clanking, the noise, the endless gossip about what is going on.

6. Those neighbors didn't really socialize with the rest of us. So no one knows what to think.

7. But this morning Sophie went over to the Super Tall Ex-Hoops Player and sniffed his sneakers. He didn't touch her, but he made some friendly noises to her so I figured the door to conversation was open.

8. L1, charging down the court: "So....are you moving far away?"

9. Super Tall Ex-Hoops Player: "Well, I'm not moving too far away."

10. L1, still pressing: "Are you going to sell your house?"

11. Super Tall Ex-Hoops Player: "No."

12. So I guess there is a break-up or divorce going on. No rebound there. Ha ha. Maybe she's sticking around the hood, even though it looks like he got all of the furniture.

[Side Note: You know, in another life I had 5th row season tickets to the Orlando Magic that my friend and I shared with 3 other parties. During the Shaq years....]

13. I guess I'll be the Star Gossiper later on today, when the rain stops and all the dog owners rush out to let their furry sweetpeas relieve themselves.

14. Yep, I'll have the scoop. It's not good scoop, but it will be better than anyone else's scoop.

15. Maybe if I had already been through Hair & Makeup when I saw the Tall Man, I would have felt more confident about digging for more scoop.

16. You know, a few giggles and some hair tosses can definitely open the lines of communication with strangers.

17. I picked up my new custom bedding at Calico Corners yesterday. I was expecting it to be ready sometime in late March, so it was a surprise to get that phone call on Friday.

18. I think I like it. It will take some getting used to. Just taking off all the pillows and turning down the bed is kind of a chore now. And everything is still kind of stiff and not too soft.

19. But I slept well, all weighted down by the matelasse (sp?) coverlet and down-filled duvet. I bought a new down comforter to stuff it with, too, even though I already had a couple laying around the house.

20. One of them sprung a leak in the corner, and when I checked it it was damp and wrinkled, like a certain furry somebody chewed it. And there was a tell-tale trail of feathers leaving the room.

21. Uh huh. Sophie Strikes Again.

22. So that one's getting donated for the tax deduction this year.

23. Not Sophie, of course, the comforter.

"A Merry Little Hound"

1. Score one (or uno) for the common hound.

2. Numero Uno, a tri-colored beagle, has won the Westminster Dog Show.

3. If you have a moment, I recommend watching the videos at that link. It just might make your day.

4. Uno beat out those sculpted foofy poodle-types who usually reign over that event. And Uno had a little something to say about the situation to the judges.

5. Take that, Fifi.

6. I always had a beagle growing up. First Dixie, then Sally. They were great little dogs.

7. But beagles like to dig.....and howl....and they will bury treats in the back yard when you give them to them. Little Sally would bury her mini Milk Bones, then scratch to go out maybe 5 minutes later to go outside and unearth them for a snack.

8. Was it the taste of the ground that she liked? Or the satisfaction of being able to find buried treasure? Or just the insatiable hunger?

9. Who the hell knows. RIP Sally. And Dixie, of course.

10. And Artie's back today. No big reveal there. Whatever.

11. And I am unable to leave comments on MY OWN BLOG! For some damn reason, I can only leave anonymous comments. I tried to respond to one of Lou's comments earlier this week, and my LOGIN INFO WAS NOT ACCEPTED.

12. So until some sort of magic solution happens, my comments here and elsewhere are silenced. Which may be a good thing. Who the hell knows.

****misc junkie noises *****

Because I don't know what junkie noises are. Sniffing? Snoring? Who knows.

Artie didn't show today, either.

And he didn't call in, Teddy-His-Assistant sent an email to Baba Booey to announce the absence. So we couldn't hear the state of his voice.

Hmmm. As much as I love Artie, I think Howard needs to do something. He needs to give Artie a drug test, or have Sirius do so. It can be off the air, but I think he needs to find out what is wrong, what is going on, and offer solutions to fix it.

Isn't Artie listening to the show? Doesn't he hear what they are all saying about him? Why doesn't he call in?

Why, Artie why? I can't even defend you at this point.

This website used to cover this important topic, but it looks like the author gave up the fight.

On the brightside: At least we won't have to listen to Robin constantly interrupt Artie.

PS: I know the spacing is all effed up in this post, but I can't figure out how to fix it and I am now officially running late.

*** cough cough cough ****

So, Artie called in sick today.

Again.

It sucks for me, because sitting at my computer listening to Stern on the sly is a big way that I get through the day. And Artie is my favorite Stern cast member. Gary, too. And Fred, of course.

My client, who is paying mid-three figures an hour for my services, has no idea where my 'background attention' lies. The CFO came in the room last week and was kind of flirting with me and asked me what kind of tunes I was listening to.

L1: "Oh, I listen to the radio--the news and stuff like that."

Smooth, huh?

Anyway, I am leading a team that needs a lot of babysitting and handholding. I really need at least one level of management between me and them, but that is the state of the industry right now.

Too many jobs. Not enough qualified candidates.

My team includes:

• An Indonesian with 2 years of experience who isn't used to being supervised.


• An Indian with 4 years of experience in her home country, but with zero US experience. And some pretty steep language barriers.


• A Russian with a charming accent who I am friendly with. Low level of experience, but at least she has some. But I noticed she is fairly unfriendly with the Indian.

Hmmmm. Lots of international discrimination. That's all I'm saying.

So please come back tomorow Artie. In hopes of a speedy recovery, here is another vintage picture of Dana and Artie. Two observations: Dana ain't that cute, and Artie is strung out.

Anywho, it's a long, long day having to listen to Robin cackle without you.

You know, I really wish that bitch would shut her pie hole.

Meat, and Potatoes.

1. New York Strip, and a baked spud, to be specific. You can bet that my meal looked quite different than the picture. I just thought it was funny that when I Googled "Steak and Potatoes" this was one of the first images that came up.

2. I hope Middle America doesn't think that's a steak dinner. That's where the cows come from, don't they?


3. It was a beautiful Sunday in Atlanta. A bit breezy. Quite a bit, actually. There were wind gust warnings, whatever those are.

4. But it was sunny, and I left my windows open for the afternoon. I even draped three pair of jeans, fresh from the washer, over patio chairs outside to dry.


5. A little bit of fake Spring, right here in the suburbs.



6. Sunday is the only day I don't have to set my alarm. I can sleep in, and laze about. So a nice thick steak and some good Spanish red wine is just the thing to end the weekend with, before Monday happens all over again.


7. After mid-April, I get Saturdays back. But until then, this is now.

Stimulating the Local Economy



8. Yesterday afternoon, on the way home from work, I stopped by Ulta to buy some shampoo. And I found what I was looking for, Wella Colorpreserve Hydrating Shampoo, for $13.00 in the very back of the store.


9. And then I made my way back to the front, filling my little basket on the way.


10. To the tune of $189. Yep, that's right. Thirteen dollars for shampoo, and $176 of other crap. You know, makeup, misc. hair care products, not-dirt-cheap sunglasses, and nearly $50 worth of little candles and those little reeds that you put in a little glass jar of sweet-smelly oil.

11. I guess it's pampering. Retail therapy. Whatever.


Fake Spring Cleaning, the Lazy Kind

12. Today I set about to start clearing my DVR movie inventory. I have been recording some of my favorite movies for a few years now. And they just sit there, waiting in the queue. I've watched some of them a few times. Others I watched part of, stopping them mid-movie at some point in time on some day that I don't even remember.

13. First Up: The Basketball Diaries. 1995, I think. Fantabulous cast, including Leonardo DiCaprio (in his salad days before he was 'Leo), Mark Wahlberg (Markie Mark!), Juliette Lewis, Bruno Kirby. And not to mention that New York-based gaggle of Sopranos: Lorraine Bracco, Michael Imperioli, and Vincent Pastore.


14. Those three show up in so many New York dramas. Just watch Goodfellas. They're all over it, including that guy who played Phil Leotardo.

15. Dead in a trunk, if I remember correctly.

16. Anyway, if you've never seen The Basketball Diaries, or if it's been awhile, I highly recommend it.

17. It's really raw. And beautiful. And a real downer, if you like that sort of thing. The scene near the end, where Jim (Leo) is outside of his mother's door, gets me every time.

18. "I'll be a good boy, Mom...."

19. Watch it. But it's sad, and a little graphic. So be warned, and anticipate highly.

20. It's a little gross, too. Detox ain't pretty, apparently.

21. **** as I slurp red wine ***

22. Next film: The Croupier.

23. Now this one is great. I saw it at the independent movie theater in Huntington Village. I could walk there from my house, and often did, on a glittering Sunday afternoon just like this one. Except maybe a little colder. You know, New York and all.

24. There were three screens at this theater, all showing new indie films. The writer and/or directors often came out to open their films, staying for a Q & A session afterwords. I guess it was kind of a big deal--people came from all over The Island to see non-cineplex films.

25. And they had a barrista. And wine. And high-end snacks. You know, real nice.

26. Anyway, by the time an indie film with some good buzz premiered, I had seen the trailer for at least a month, and made a note to catch it on opening weekend.

27. Some films had a special buzz. Like Run Lola Run, Smiling Fish and Goat on Fire (written and starring two local Long Island boys), Chuck & Buck, and The Croupier.

28. The Croupier is GREAT. And not just because Clive Owen is one sexy bastard. It's a great story, with a beginning, middle and end.

29. And even though the overall tone is a somber one, it has a happy ending. Which is unusual for one of my favorite films.

30. And Also: I just kind of sped through Magnolia, looking for the good parts. Like the scenes with Tom Cruise (believe it or not, his role is jaw-dropping) and the drugstore scene with Julianne Moore. You know, where she whacked out after the pharmacist questioned her about the myriad of Schedule Two drugs she was getting refills for.

30. ****chills****

31. And then I just deleted it. That movie took up a lot of space in the queue. And some of the parts of it are so sad that they are unbearable to me.

32. Like the kid on the quiz show who needed to pee. Or the cokehead girl who had the date with the straightlaced cop.


33. I do love the parts with Philip Seymour Hoffman, and the William H. Macy. I love the parts that he's in, but they are just too sad for me right now.


34. I saw Magnolia one cold December day. It only opened in less than 5 theatres nationwide, just for a few days, and just to qualify for Oscar nominations. I think all the theatres were in New York and LA.


35. I took the train to the city and saw it on a Sunday afternoon at that movie theatre right down the street from the flagship Bloomingdales. And was so shellshocked afterwards, I sat at the bar at Cibi-Cibi to talk it over with the bartender.


36. See, I kind of knew that bartender, so that was okay. Lots of free cocktails for me in that place.


37. Maybe that's why the place is gone now. Just a thought. Who the hell knows. It's considered rude up there to turn down a free drink.

38. I even bought the Magnolia soundtrack the next day. I felt haunted. But I like the idea of listening to Aimee Mann better than the actual modern-day experience. See, I was a big 'Til Tuesday fan way back when.

39. Oh I'm not saying the soundtrack was bad. I'm just saying I spent more time listening to the Supertramp tracks on the CD, and that song called "Dreams" that Quiz Kid Donnie listened to in his hoopty car to get pumped up. You know the song.

40. I think the Aimee Mann songs on the soundtrack are just too sad. Because they remind me of the scenes in the film.


41. There are still a few movies in the queue that I can't get rid of right now. Maybe next weekend, who knows.

42. Like The Station Agent (loooovvveee Bobby Cannavale and Peter Dinklage), Slingblade (John Ritter is reason enough), My Life (my favorite sad movie) and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

43. I think I've been stoned every time I've seen that last one, so every time I watch it now it's kind of like a little surprise. Not a big Jim Carrey fan, but I do remember Mark Ruffalo jumping on a bed in his tighty-whiteys.

44. Yep. That I remember.

45. NOTE: Michelle Williams, Heath's ex, has a great role in The Station Agent. She makes out with li'l Peter Dinklage. Or Finn, if you're a fan.